Hey Jay!

There’s a girl

Who I thought could be

The one I always

Dream and see

And the other day

She moved in next to me

Funny start

I never thought it’d be

She is all I want

Wish you could see

Hey! Jay

Won’t you be with me

But I can see

Oh, please help me

Oh my god!

She’s so pretty

Hey! Jay, won’t you be with me

Hey! Jay, won’t you be with me

Hey! Jay, won’t you be with me

Oh my god! She’s so pretty

It’s nine to ten

Too early

She’s still in bed

She looks so sweet

With an angel heart

And a scent to tell

I tell you, guys

She’s gonna cast a spell

She is all I want

Wish you could see

Hey! Jay

Won’t you be with me

But I can see

Oh, please help me

Oh my god!

She’s so pretty

Hey! Jay, won’t you be with me

Hey! Jay, won’t you be with me

Hey! Jay, won’t you be with me

Oh my god! She’s so pretty

Savin' Me

Prison gates won't open up for me On these hands and knees I'm crawlin' Oh, I reach for you Well I'm terrified of these four walls These iron bars can't hold my soul in All I need is you Come please I'm callin' all I scream for you Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin' Show me what it's like To be the last one standing And teach me wrong from right And I'll show you what I can be And say it for me Say it to me And I'll leave this life behind me Say it if it's worth saving me Heaven's gates won't open up for me With these broken wings I'm fallin' And all I see is you These city walls ain't got no love for me I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story And all I scream for you Come please I'm callin' And all I need from you Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin' Hurry I'm fallin' All I need is you Come please I'm callin' And all I scream for you Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm crawlin Show me what it’s like To be the last one standing And teach me wrong from right And I’ll show you what I can be And say it for me Say it to me And I’ll leave this life behind me Say it if it’s worth savin' me Hurry I’m falling And say it for me Say it to me And I’ll leave this life behind me Say it if it’s worth savin' me

Isolation

Another day passes me by. I am still lost and confused, still disconnected from once to which I was connected. I have lost my tracks and am unable to find them anymore. It is as if I flew blindly into the dark night and got caught in and unknown cage like a trapped bird. Freedom was snatched from me. Hope drained out of me and Fear throned it self into me. King of all that is me. Despair, rage and hatred pawned by an unruly and ruthless ruler of a kingdom lost deep in the dust on which we tread. There is no escape, no ressurection and no victory. Loss is the only achieveable goal. There is no other ... Or atleast ... there wasn't. Hear my thoughts, and you shall fear me. I do not bow down to this king, I do not fear the slash of it's whip. My tears are not weakness but drops that form the river that will break these chains of misery and fill my lungs with air. I am prisoner to this forsaken land, I am the exhile banished from my own kingdom, I am the one you shut your doors to at night. But no more. No more will I let these binds hold me to this wall, no more will I be forgotten locked beneath the ashes of your wake, no more will I be a hybrid theory stuck in between life and death. I will push, I will pull, I will strangle the very grip that holds me back. I will not be pushed around any more, I will not be ordered, I will not be brought to my knees. I will stand tall and proud. I will succeed where all have failed. I will reach the peak which you all failed to climb. I will break all boundaries. I inspire only myself. I help only my self. I love only my self. I will vanquish you, great king. No more will you hold the reigns of power to this kingdom. No more will you taint this land with pain, suffering and hardship. I will rise. I will fight. Through struggle, I will conquor. And with the fall of your crown of thorns ... I shall exist. To Freedom ... till Death!

undefined 2

neverbeen this way in a long time ... i dunno y i feel this way. its strange. it feels like a long lost scent. some time i pick up scents at the most random places tht are either alike or similar to sum particular scents i hav etched in my memories. as a kid in places i had enjjoyed a lot i remember the scents of rooms, ppl, places etc. i dont remember clearly now which scent i just picked up but it brot back a memory and sumthing else with it , an innocence i never knew i cud feel again. its like u hear a song on the radio n u love it so much , the melody or the lyrics or mayb just the whole song, that u buy or download it n listen to it over n over again. n by the end of the week it is as bland as any other song u had heard a few weeks ago. it lies in ur playlist, forgotten, its uniqueness as invisible as the air we breathe. i felt sumthing as such a while ago, n strangely, it still ingers in me, walking empty corridors, pushing open dusty doors on rusty hinges, creaking in my heart. like a lil child it sprints thru the wide open spaces in me .... no sound no sight.... running free in me, dainting me with its likeness. .... .... .... emotions.... dainting me ....

"They're coming to take me away, Ha ha,
They're coming to take me away,
Ho Ho Hee Hee Ha Ha,
To the Happy Home with trees and flowers,
And chirping birds and basket weavers,
Who sit and smile and twidle their thumbs and toes,
And they're coming to take me away ... "

Undefined

blankness ... mind ... blankness .... when this began .... i didn't know it wud turn out this way ... i never thot i wud lose every precious thing i wud get .... i never knew the price of sanctum wud be this high ...

a nose ... 2 ears ... lips .... a mouth .... eyes ... n hair ... can u see me now ??? is it not like a face u see on the street a day or two everyday ?? its not how i see me ... its the reason i don't see me in the mirror ... its the reason i don't let me think ... its the reason i give me no time ... unworthy ....
no matter how hard i try i always end up hurting the ones i love ... they think i try ... but i dont think i ever tried worthy of them ... i don't remember ever telling me its ok ... i dont remember smiling to my self ...

y is it that every time i try to stand up i fall flat on my back .... y is it tht everytime i try to smile i grit my teeth ... y is it that every time i tell her i love u she frowns ... y is that everytime she holds me i black out ... y is it tht everytime i think of 'that' thot sumthing fucks up so badly ... "Don't do this, don't go. take off your helmet. i wanna say goodbye, i wanna give u a hug..." ... y must i make the same mistake always ... y can't i show her i love her so much .... y can't i hold on stronger?!?!?!?!?! ....

people spend their lives looking for forgiveness ... looking to redeem their sins .... their thots n actions ... i looked for it too ... a sign ... a word ... a thot mayb ... to show me the way to my redemption .... blind fools ..... its not that i am unforgiven .... i just didn't forgive my self ... n now i am stuck on the outside ... i pushed my self too much .... i cant get back in me ... i can't run away either ... i wud lose it all then ... but then again i always hav ... every 1 gets a second chance ... but i got a third a fourth a fifth n a sixth .... i dunno more math than tht ... i didnt ask for this ... i shud hav been left to burn where i was burning ... yet sum 1 cums n pours water on me ... smiles n picks me up by my hand ... gives me a hug n tells me she loves me ....

for once ... i dont want this to end with her ... day in n day out i grunt n break my self thru n thru .... my own fault i know ... just one look of her ... n so many things change ... in a moment i forget wat i was broken for ..... when i realise it .... it seems like hours had passed since i last felt tht anguish ... yet i look down n see the crimson red drip from my wrist ... it wasnt that long ago ... but i wish it was ... i wish i hadnt done this ... i wish i hadnt brot my self ot my own knees ... i wish i cud tear this mask off my face ... i dont want it any more yet it clings on harder than ever ... i havent breathed in so long ... yet even a single smile from her .... gives ne those feelings i thot i wud never have ... gives me that air i thot i wud never feel in me. ... gives me that ....essence called life ... one reason to live ... a many not to .... i choose 1 over many ...

i never chose to be this ... i didn't want this to happen ... but i didn't stop it either .... it eats me now .... blackening me out cell by cell ... muscle by muscle ... tissue by tissue ... i want to stop yet i stand still n let it commit my self again ... it never goes away....i regret saying those things ... i didn't realise... instead of setting it free i took what i hated and made it a part of me ....

and now u've becum a part of me ... u'll always be rite here .... u've become a part of me .... u'll always be my fear .... i can't seperate my self from what i've done ... giving up a part of me i let my self become u .... i let my self become lost inside these thots of u ..... giving up a part of me .... i let my self become u .....

"Let go off me ... you'll be happier" ... if only she knew ...

The Truth Of My Perception

While shutters enclose the boundries of my heart.
I hold my breath till the steady beating is shut out.
In silence I wait for what is real.
For I know the truth of my perception.
Nothing in life matters more than You.
When first feelings fade,
I will still be here.


" In silence I wait for what is real, For I know the truth of my perception "

Dusk And Her Embrace

screech!!! ... the old rickshaw brakes to a sudden halt ... she looks up at him quizzically .... "hold on baby" he says as he jumps off n runs off in the opposite direction ... she awaits his return looking at her watch even tho she checked it just a few mins back .... am getting late she thinks to her self ... he must have gone to buy his cigarettes again ... y does he have to do this when i am in a hurry ... just then she looks up n finds him standing next to her with a smile on his face ... he hops onto the rickshaw again and off trots the ancient ride of joy on the streets of the city of joy ... hands held titely behind himself ... he looks at her ... smiles n says .... "i love you sweety" .... n as she looks down...sun set lighting her face setting the perfect glow on her smile for him to see .... she sees a red rose ... fresh ... water droplets clinging on to its luscious petals .... awwwww babbbiiiiiiieeeeeeeee ...... i love you too!!!!!!

"We spend the summer with the top rolled down
Wished ever after would be like this
You said I love you babe, without a sound
I said Id give my life for just one kiss
Id live for your smile and die for your kiss"

....remember those days when she asked him if he wud remember her when she was gone??? ... if he wud remember that nite when she rode behind him on his temptation of dreams?? ... wind in her hair ... dusk on her face .... remember those days she buried her face in his arms n cried so much ... remember how she annoyed him and he still thot it was sooo swweeeetttt ???? ... remember??? .... No???? .... then .... remember he told her he loves her now .... now as she reads this .... rite this moment he is thinking of her n her smile tht always brightens his day .... rite now .... he is missing a heart beat ... cuz every beat in his life is for her ...

"... n as she looks down she sees a red rose ... fresh ... water droplets clinging on to its luscious petals .... awwwww babbbiiiiiiieeeeeeeee ...... i love you too!!!!!!...."